Archive for birthday

Barbie, you getting old bitch.

Posted in She Is Nicotine. with tags , , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by sheisnicotine

Barbie is that you?

When I was in Paris, I got to participate in birthday celebrations for one of fashions biggest contributors, Barbie. The little plastic vixen that has become a staple in the lives of little girls around the world since her creation 50 years ago, never ceases to amaze me. It was a night of fun and lots and lots of bubbles, both in and out of the champagne, but it left me with a few question. How does she maintain that perfect hourglass figure? And at 50 how does she manage to keep steady ‘old Ken’s eyes from wandering?

I would love to get Barbie really plastered and see what she has to say. Can’t you just see it? That perfect hair, matted and shaggy hanging in her face, lopsided grin replacing the perfect smile. Dress riding up, heels hanging almost off her feet sprawled out in the booth. Drunkenly slurring about how she hasn’t gotten decent sex in the last 50 years, while spilling her champagne on her clothes.

Barbie wasted? She Is Nicotine.

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Mum’s the Word.

Posted in She Is Nicotine. with tags , , , , on March 21, 2009 by sheisnicotine

So today is the day of birth for my mom’s…

She is pretty much the raddest woman on the planet. She has supported me in all of the foolish endeavors of  my wandering soul. She loves travel as much as I do and is most happy when I’m waking up around the world. She has been the rock in my life always, and the happiest person I have ever known. Check out her rocking on stage in the purple back when she traveled the world with the man immortalized by Dave Chapelle:

I love my mom. And She Is the original Nicotine.